What Can You REALLY Buy for All of the Men in Your Life, Though?

After opening my Refinery29 e-mail that claimed to have the answer for me, clicking it open, and having my eyes assaulted with an ugly pastel fanny pack that my boyfriend, father, brother, and every man (and woman) I’ve ever met would probably be very sorry to receive as a Christmas present, I’ve decided to do my own gifting guide for the holidays.

This list is unendorsed, and will only be ridiculous on purpose, since unlike some people *cough, cough Refinery29 cough,* I do not assume that a $5,000 miniskirt is a “steal.” (I don’t know why I haven’t unsubscribed from their e-mails yet, either.)

Logic, in action. #facepalm #sarcasmintended

Logic, in action. #facepalm #sarcasmintended

So, ladies (and gents) – do you want to know the ONE THING that you can get for EVERY MAN in your life, that he will be delighted about?

May I present *drumroll, drumroll, drumrolll*

Socks.

Socks.

So simple, this gift might seem too simple.

It's not.

It’s not.

I can’t think of a single guy throughout the duration of my life who has not seemed to run out of socks. This magical ability to never have enough socks is not contingent upon the quantity of laundry done, it is a pervasive fact, underlying the majority of my interactions with men who do not still live at home.

Let’s be clear – this gifting advice only applies to men.

aww yeah

Since there is even a cat meme to go along with my advice, however, I think we can all feel confident in my assessment of socks as the one-gift-fits-all-men category. And isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

The meaning of Christmas

The meaning of Christmas

Book Review: Jane and the 12 Days of Christmas

Once upon a time, there lived a woman named Jane

who wrote novels that caused her warranted fame,

now she probably lies in her grave with unrest

because she stars in books that can be a shitfest,

and one of those novels is this:

20600462https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20600462-jane-and-the-twelve-days-of-christmas

So I received a free copy of Jane and the Twelve Days of Christmas, which is awesome, but the book itself is not one I recommend.

It’s pretty terrible – a “mystery” that doesn’t really contain much, you know, mystery.

It stars Jane Austen as a novel-writer/detective who just happens to stumble across murder all the time (this is the twelfth book in the mystery series). In this case, it is Christmas-time, and Jane is being snarky as she visits her relatives & visits old family friends in their nice house.

The whole book revolves around the concepts of legitimacy and honor, which could, to be fair, be interesting topics, but which are not in this particular novel.

Jane comes across as someone who is not fun to be around, and the insinuation is made that she derives the plot of Persuasion from the occurrences in this novel. Jane is noticeably judgmental, including being disdainful for the voiced opinions of a woman whose poverty Jane, herself, seems to have no conception of, and including negativity towards the parenting style of her brother and his wife which seemingly could be partially derived from the fact that Jane, herself, has never born children herself.

Oh, there’s also some romance that is hinted at, for no apparent reason whatsoever.

So… I don’t recommend reading this one. Unless you devour absolutely everything Jane Austen related, regardless of the virtue of its’ content, or you have been reading this series and really need to know what happens next.

& Now I Want A Cookie

I have uploaded a cover – b/c the NaNo statistics show that uploading a cover makes you 66% more likely to finish your novel, and so my abysmal word count is now subsequently forced to rise, right?

Admit it - now you're craving a cookie

Admit it – now you’re craving a cookie

Oh, also – my cover isn’t really very related to the novel, just to the scene I just wrote.

Oh, also – that’s not really my title.

Um, yeah.

The Blank Paper is Winning

fuck the paper

Day 12 of NaNo, and I have an embarrassingly small # of words. Which is actually fine – I’m really busy, and if I failed my tax quiz so that I could achieve a specific, round # of words by the end of the month, that would be horrible (and I would lose the job offer I recently accepted and would have to spend another winter in Michigan, which would probably literally kill me, to be honest).

Still, I hate to fail, even at arbitrary tasks that I have assigned to myself.

I really want to get to a point where I can at least see where this story is going. I kind of know where I want it to go, but it’s also taking me to unexpected places – which is awesome, because that’s exactly what you want it to do, both for you and your reader.

Anyway, I’m going to keep working. There were also a few days when I didn’t write anything, which for some reason, has failed to increase my word count (sarcasm intended). BUT I am writing more than I would otherwise, which is good. Because school is very busy, and I could literally divide all of my time between school, work, and housework – but that would make me a very dull girl. And we all know what happened to Jack (unless you both read the book & watched the Kubrick movie, in which case, what happened to Jack is very debatable).

How is everyone else’s project going?

Clarity

grasping @ eternity

 Okay – what is this book about?

Is it an interesting supernatural novel? A run-of-the-mill romance? A combination of the two?

I feel like there is a disparity between the cover and the description. I have nothing against romance, but some of it is not meant to be taken seriously. While most of us will read anything at the beach, the cover is indicative, to me, of what is casually labeled a “beach read” – a fun read. The description, on the other hand, at least indicates melodrama, if not the idea that this novel is meant to keep the reader thinking after the last page has been turned.

There’s something about eternity (vampires? hopefully not – I’m feeling a bit inundated by vampires at the moment). There’s something about “doing the unthinkable,” except that that’s “explained” by some gibberish about past lives. Maybe this is a god/goddess thing?

Is it just me, or do you kind of wish publishers would just issue a blank cover if they can’t come up with a fitting image? Or is this novel’s description better than its’ premise?

Anyway, the person with the best elaborated description of the novel (based, of course, on its’ cover) gets brownie points! & even though you’ll probably never meet me in person, and probably wouldn’t know who I was even if you did, you know you want my approval. ;)

NaNoWriMo: A Day Late & Low Word Count In

So, I didn’t write anything yesterday. But that’s okay. If I can “win” NaNo, that’s awesome, and I will probably add a bullet point to my resume, but I am really striving to find balance every day, so I’m not going to beat myself up if a “win” doesn’t occur. I’m winning by writing. (Also, I need to make time for my kid and my grad school reading/schoolwork/etc.)

winning

Anyway, let’s talk writing.

One of the big things I always struggle with, is what to name my characters. I now realize that there is an entire NaNo forum dedicated to what to name things, but, in addition to that resource, I generally find myself using baby name sites. A resource I have used this year is the 25 best-loved baby names. This site is particularly helpful, because I knew that I wanted some popular names for a couple of my characters, due to the nature of those characters.

I hope everyone else’s first 2 days of NaNo went relatively well! Please, share your favorite writing resource in the comments below:

Please to comment below.

Please to comment below.